


Unfamiliar Feelings

by Carohas



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carohas/pseuds/Carohas
Summary: The transmission was sent, the mission complete, and Jyn Erso could finally feel.First, there was the overwhelming relief at seeing Cassian standing there, waiting for her, blaster still aimed at Krennic; protecting her.* * * * *His heart was pounding out of his chest by the time he reached the top of the tower, and as he looked over to Jyn and saw Krennic pointing his blaster at her, he felt it skip a beat. He tried to move quietly, but his injuries made it almost impossible, and there was no way he could make the shot from here. He’d diagnosed himself as having at least 3 broken ribs, and untold damage to his internal organs, but he pushed through the pain; there was a mission to complete, and that was all that mattered.* * * * *The first chapter is the last few minutes of the movie from Jyn's perspective, and the second chapter is Cassian's, both with a romantic twist.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to formally apologise for my lack of Star Wars knowledge, I like and have seen the movies but that's as far as it goes, so if there are any mistakes, please accept my apologies!

The transmission was sent, the mission complete, and Jyn Erso could finally _feel._

First, there was the overwhelming relief at seeing Cassian standing there, waiting for her, blaster still aimed at Krennic; protecting her. 

Second came the pure rage at remembering who the gun was still trained on; the man who’d changed her life’s course forever. He'd taken her mother, her father, and in all likelihood, her friends on the ground. She moved toward him, ready to loose her wild grief on him, but the weight of Cassian’s arm on hers tugged her back. “Leave it,” he implored. “Leave it.”

Third was the comfort of knowing someone cared enough about her to hold her back as the rage washed over her and she came to the realisation that Krennic didn’t matter; he’d lost, the death star would be destroyed, and the rebellion would outlive them all. She could feel Cassian at her side, his hand tight around her wrist, his breath warm against her cheek as he whispered, “that’s it.” His words encouraged her as she expelled her longing for revenge with two heavy breaths. “That’s it,” he sighed. “Let’s go.”

 

She tucked herself under Cassian’s arm, afraid to contemplate exactly how much damage his body had suffered when he fell, and how much it must have hurt to get up here. 

They stumbled toward the elevator together as he asked, “do you think anybody is listening?”

Not so long ago she’d have answered differently, maybe even scoffed at the question. But that was _before_. Before Cassian Andor believed her, before Chirrut, Baze, Bodhi, even K-2SO, had come with her on this suicide mission. A small smile tugged at her lips as she replied, “I do. Somebody’s out there.”

 

 

With the doors closed and the codes entered, their descent began, and as she turned to lean on the wall, her eyes locked on Cassian’s. With no small amount of wonder she marvelled at the man before her.A man who’d grown up as part of a movement, who had lived with hard decisions made on the its behalf, all in the hope of a brighter future. 

As quickly as the light flashed through the window, her own hopes began to rise. Not just for the rebellion, but for herself. For him. She watched as the light played across his features, illuminating the sharp curve of his jaw, his soft smile, and that unfamiliar look in his eyes that made her want.. more. She was barely aware of her hand moving toward him until her fingers touched his temple and gently ran their way down to the rough stubble of his beard. Her eyes flickered from her hand, to his lips, to his eyes, and as his eyes caught hers, she felt a pull unlike anything she’d experienced. She’d never imagined having a partner before, she _couldn’t_ imagine it. The idea of finding someone she might want to make plans with, let along trust to keep those plans, was one she’d scoffed at. But as she found herself leaning closer to Cassian, she thought it just might be possible. 

Her eyes searched his, just as his were searching hers, for any indication that this might not be what he wanted; that he might be as cold as she first thought. As their lips met, her eyes fluttered shut, and she let herself become lost in the sensation of his lips on hers. He was gentle, softly tugging on her bottom lip in a way that made her selfishly wish he was uninjured. As her hand wound its way into his hair, she felt the soft weight of his hand at the small of her back and suddenly she was flush against him, the warmth of his body spreading through every inch of her. 

She was so wrapped up in him that it wasn’t the doors of the elevator opening that alerted her to their being at ground level, but the wince that rippled through his body as the wall he was leaning on shifted. She looked up at him, questioning. “Cass?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” She helped him shift his weight so she could support them as they moved. “Let’s go.”

 

 

They moved in silence, taking in the destruction of the scenes around them, not daring to hope that she might see one of their friends moving toward them. Her mind was swirling with hopes she didn’t yet have the courage to share with him, and she was thankful that their positioning didn’t allow him the opportunity to study her face; he was almost certain to see her thoughts as if she’d lay them bare before him. 

As they limped in the vague direction of Bodhi and their ship, she felt Cassian take a deeper breath and laboriously ask, “what are you thinking about?”

She was saved from finding an answer for him by the sound of the tower falling behind them and an explosion to their right. Twisting so they could both find the point of origin of the blast, her eyes widened as they landed on the Death Star, and she knew that when she looked back, she would see death coming for them. She looked up at Cassian, and saw her expression mirrored in his own. Tears reached her eyes as she thought of all she’d never get to tell him, share or experience with him. “What now?” She asked. 

“We go.” He began leading her away from the chaos and destruction that surrounded them, toward the blast that was slowly making its way across the planet to them.

 

 

They limped along, Jyn carrying more and more of Cassian’s weight as his strength left him and the sand tripped him. When all they could see was the clear blue water, the hills surrounding them and the mushroom cloud of the explosion, they fell into the sand, finally relieved of their burdens. She sat for a moment, watching as the dust from the explosion creeped steadily forward, then realised that the way she’d been living, alone and untrusting, wasn’t how she wanted to die. She turned to him, and found he was already looking at her.  “Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”

She smiled at the thought, and took his hand in her own. “I’d have followed you anywhere, Cassian Andor.”

She watched him strain to get to his knees, before allowing herself to be tugged up as well. She leaned into him, their breath mingling as he spoke, “I’d have built a home for you, Jyn Erso.” She raised her eyes to his once more, struggling to stop tears from slipping down her cheeks. As she leaned to rest her head against his, she focused on the success of the day, and smiled as she felt his head turning to catch her lips, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her against him until they were consumed in each other. 

 

 

The light grew ever brighter behind her eyelids, Cassian’s arms held her tighter, and as the wind picked up and she tucked her head into his shoulder, there was one last emotion Jyn allowed herself to feel; love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The transmission was sent, the mission complete, and Jyn Erso could finally feel.  
> First, there was the overwhelming relief at seeing Cassian standing there, waiting for her, blaster still aimed at Krennic; protecting her.
> 
> * * * * *
> 
> His heart was pounding out of his chest by the time he reached the top of the tower, and as he looked over to Jyn and saw Krennic pointing his blaster at her, he felt it skip a beat. He tried to move quietly, but his injuries made it almost impossible, and there was no way he could make the shot from here. He’d diagnosed himself as having at least 3 broken ribs, and untold damage to his internal organs, but he pushed through the pain; there was a mission to complete, and that was all that mattered.
> 
> * * * * *
> 
> The first chapter is the last few minutes of the movie from Jyn's perspective, and the second chapter is Cassian's, both with a romantic twist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to formally apologise for my lack of Star Wars knowledge, I like and have seen the movies but that's as far as it goes, so if there are any mistakes, please accept my apologies!

His heart was pounding out of his chest by the time he reached the top of the tower, and as he looked over to Jyn and saw Krennic pointing his blaster at her, he felt it skip a beat. He tried to move quietly, but his injuries made it almost impossible, and there was no way he could make the shot from here. He’d diagnosed himself as having at least 3 broken ribs, and untold damage to his internal organs, but he pushed through the pain; there was a mission to complete, and that was all that mattered.

He heard Jyn delaying Krennic from pulling the trigger, telling him the transmission was already sent though her body language told him that was clearly a lie. He silently encouraged her, _that’s it, just keep him occupied a little longer…_

He shuffled over to the pillar, got himself into a standing position and pulled the trigger without a moment’s hesitation. He saw Krennic fall, and watched as Jyn recovered and stared at him incredulously. Their eyes locked for a second before she ran to the console and pulled the switch that would send the transmission.

He kept his blaster trained on Krennic; the blast had been enough to save Jyn, to save the mission, but it hadn’t killed him. He heard the robotic voice, “transmitting, transmitting, transmitting,” and turned to see Jyn beaming up at him as she limped over. It was done, their mission was a success!He’d barely had a moment to process it before he noticed Jyn’s rage and grief threatening to overwhelm her as she laid eyes on Krennic. She took a step away from him, and tried to go further, but he tugged her back to him, “leave it,” he asked, begging her to leave Krennic be, to choose a lighter path than revenge. “Leave it.” He felt her muscles relax as she breathed deeply. “That’s it, that’s it. Let’s go.”

He put his blaster in its holster and swung his arm around Jyn’s shoulders. He almost laughed at the thought of how comical they must look, both battered and bruised, each needing the other to do the most simple of tasks, but he knew the movement would hurt his ribs further. Instead, he asked Jyn a seemingly simple question, “do you think anybody is listening?” 

He watched as she contemplated her answer, unsure of what to expect. The Jyn Erso they’d rescued from the Empire would have scoffed at him for even asking such a question. But they’d seen a lot since then, and he’d like to think.. Well, he wasn’t quite sure what he’d like to think. Perhaps that she’d changed, since meeting him, as he’d changed since meeting her. A small smile tugged at her lips as she responded, “I do. Somebody’s out there.” And as they limped forward together, he felt a hopeful smile tugging at his own. 

 

 

They stumbled into the lift, and he leaned against the wall to steady himself as she closed the doors and entered the codes to take them to the ground. He watched her with pure fascination. The sullen woman he’d met was no where to be found, instead he found himself gazing at the strongest woman he’d ever known, someone who had defied him, the Rebellion, the Empire, to do the right thing. It was a strength he admired, one he wished he’d had for himself more frequently. As her eyes caught his, he wondered what had happened to the child her father left, and whether he would ever share his story with her. For the first time, he found that he wanted to. Not so that he could throw his pain in her face like he had on the ship, but so she would know that she wasn’t alone, that they could be each other’s new home. 

He watched as the light flashed across her face, revealing a look on her face that he hadn’t seen before. Was it, could it be, hope? He felt as though they were being pushed together by some invisible force as her hand ran down his cheek, and he leaned into her touch, not quite daring to believe that she might feel the same way about him as he did her.

He tentatively moved closer, tilting his neck and hoping he was reading her body language correctly, that this wasn’t some trick his mind was playing on him. His fears soon gave way to desire, as his lips touched hers and he wished he was a much healthier man. He tugged gently at her bottom lip, and felt her hand move to his hair to pull him closer, kiss him harder. He ignored the pain in his sides to reach out to her with his better arm, pulling her so her body was flush against his. The shadows of his mind wanted her closer still, wanted to see her writhe in pleasure with his name on her lips, but the pain he’d been ignoring made him shudder as the lift stopped with a jolt, and then she was looking up at him, as if she’d woken from a dream she wasn’t ready to leave yet. 

“Cass?” The concern evident in her voice tugged at a heart string he hadn’t been sure was still there. 

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile, before saying, “let’s go.”

 

 

They moved slowly through the wreckage they’d wrought down on Scarif, and Cassian tried not to look at the bodies too closely. When his eyes did stray from the path in front of them, he tried to remind himself that it had been for the cause, that they’d saved lives here today. It was something he’d done many times before, but this was the first time in a while that he’d truly been able to believe it. And it was because of her. He looked down at Jyn, unable to see her face clearly, unable to tell what she was thinking. So, he dared to ask her. 

She was as silent as they continued to limp forward, and he began to feel like a fool for assuming she would answer such a question. But then he heard a crash behind him, followed by an explosion to their right, and his world seemed to tilt on its axis. Jyn helped him spin around, eyes searching for the source of the explosion. It didn’t take long; the Death Star was an immediately apparent eyesore. 

He felt his foolish hopes slip away, even the ones he hadn’t yet acknowledged to himself, and knew that if he were to turn around now, he’d see death quickly coming for them. He looked down at her, his heart heavier than it had been mere seconds ago, and met her gaze as she asked, “what now?” He saw the well of tears in her eyes and if his heart hadn’t been broken a second ago, it certainly was now. He set his jaw against the tears and hopelessness that lurked in the back of his mind, and simply said, “we go.”

 

 

He turned them away from the destruction and chaos, for even though they were going to die here, it didn’t have to be on a battleground. For once, he wanted something beautiful, just because it was, even if it wouldn’t last. They limped toward a beach, until he was tripping in the sand and she was carrying more of his weight than he’d have admitted, had they the opportunity to tell this story. 

When all he could see was their impending doom, blue water and the surrounding hills, they collapsed in the sand and sat for a moment, watching the cloud of dust steadily approach them.  As his thoughts drifted across the events of his life, he realised that helping her would be his greatest, proudest accomplishment. He gazed at her, in complete awe. “Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”

Her eyes left his as she smiled at the ground, no doubt imagining a scene in which her father could have told her that himself. He felt her take his hand, before she looked into his eyes and said, “I’d have followed you anywhere, Cassian Andor.” He felt his heart swell and he gulped down the self-indulgent tears that threatened to spill if he thought too long about the future they could’ve had together. 

Instead, still holding her hand in his, he pushed himself onto his knees and pulled her up so they were almost touching, their breath mingling between them before he said his final words to her. “I’d have built a home for you, Jyn Erso.” He watched her lift her head then, blinking away tears as she leaned forward so their heads were resting against each other. 

As they rested there, he wished he could promise her it would be okay, that they’d be alright, but such promises were futile. So, Cassian Andor did the one thing he thought might help them forget; he kissed her, and felt her smile against him as her hands moved to his waist. As his arms moved over her back, pulling her closer, he allowed himself to relax, to be consumed in her, even as the deadly bright light grew impossibly lighter.

 

 

As the wind grew stronger against them, he held her tighter, burrowing his head into the space between her neck and shoulder, and in that moment, even as he was about to die, Cassian felt something he hadn’t since he was a child: peace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the same bittersweet ending the movie had, but it made me feel a little better about it. If you like, you can imagine that they survived that, like I do. :)

**Author's Note:**

> It's the same bittersweet ending the movie had, but it made me feel a little better about it. If you like, you can imagine that they survived that, like I do. :)


End file.
